She's sweet, but she's fucked up

Friday, July 23, 2004

"No no Ricky, you promised."

These are the words Winona Ryder screamed into her cell phone while in a "trendy LA restuarant" bathroom.  I wonder what the hell this "Ricky" (I say that as if it's allegedly his name) promised her.  What's up Noni?  What's going on?   Hmmm...I wonder.
Scenario 1:
Winona:  No no Ricky, you promised.
Ricky: Why do you keep calling?  I don't know who you are.
Winona:  It's me, Winona Ryder.  Star of such films as "Autumn in New York" and "Lost Souls"
Scenario 2:
Winona:  No no Ricky, you promised.
Ricky:  B*tch, I told you, I can't get you anymore illegal prescription drugs.  I can't help you get high anymore!  (This is a lame joke...about 6 months too late- why don't I just make a joke about shoplifting)
Scenario 3:
Winona:  No no Ricky, you promised.
Ricky:  I'm sorry, but I'm going to sell this low budget porn movie you made when you were a struggling actress.  I want to make the big bucks like Rick Solomon and that guy selling the Cameron Diaz S & M videos.
This is the dumbest post ever.  I don't know why I'm even about to hit the publish button.  I should abort.  Honestly, I just liked the title. 
Reagan

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